Fighting Isolation
There are times in our lives, especially after a traumatic event, that we may feel that we are better off if we isolate ourselves from others. Intimate partner violence, loss of a loved one, or recent trauma are a few triggers that may push a person to think that they would be better off alone than with others.
Difficult past experiences and our fears can make us want to avoid people, settings, and activities. Our instincts drive us to protect ourselves, and we can convince ourselves that isolating ourselves is the best way to do that. It’s possible that we might even feel safer and more secure when we are alone.
Any upsetting event that leaves you feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or helpless and disrupts your normal level of functioning is defined as trauma and may have long-term effects on your mental health. If you are feeling pulled to isolation and think that you are better off this way and that others would benefit from you being away from them, then it is time to take steps to counteract that.
Seek solitude instead. Solitude is different from isolation. Solitude is a purposeful removal of self. It’s choosing to have some alone time for the sake of your mental health, not because of it. When you choose solitude, it looks like quiet walks in nature, purposeful meditation, journaling in a quiet space, or stepping away from social media to quiet the noise. Solitude is for a short time. The intention is to remove yourself from distractions so that you can think clearer and have a better vision. It’s not to remove yourself from society because of fear and anxiety.
Define a purpose outside yourself. Often when we isolate ourselves from others, we begin to believe the lie that others will be better off if we just stay away. We begin to believe that the only way we can stay safe is if we remain alone and shut up away from others. This is a lie. Humans were made for community. There are safe people out there, and it’s for our benefit that we search them out. Find a local organization that you can plug in to; it can be a class at the Y, a craft group that meets at the local library, or a volunteer opportunity in your community.
Find accountability. In order to keep yourself from retreating and going back to isolation, you need to include someone in your struggle. Identify a safe friend or family member that you can tell this struggle to. Ask them to do weekly check-ins to see how you’re doing with isolation versus engaging. Having a person that you reach out to when you start to feel the pull back to isolation can be paramount in helping you overcome the temptation.
Isolation can be tempting because it feels safe. But isolation is not healthy. If you feel yourself being pulled to isolation, take the steps today to counteract it and prioritize your mental health.
Challenges/Points:
There are times in our lives, especially after a traumatic event, that we may feel that we are better off if we isolate ourselves from others.
Any upsetting event that leaves you feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or helpless and disrupts your normal level of functioning is defined as trauma and may have long-term effects on your mental health.
Solitude is a purposeful removal of self. It’s choosing to have some alone time for the sake of your mental health, not because of it.
Questions:
Are there times in your life that you feel the pull to isolate?
Can you identify someone in your life that can be the accountability partner for you?
Can you think of 2 or 3 hobbies/interests that you have that you can use to plug into your community?
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