Perfectionism
I’ve been lucky enough to grow up in a great school system. We tend to rank near the top in every category within our state. As a result, we have many students who excel academically, giving them a leg-up in reaching their future careers. Many of us are self-motivated, but our parents also encourage us to do our work and try to get good grades. Teachers and administrators often say the same thing. But for whatever reason, the words “do your best” often translate to “don’t screw up” inside our heads.
Those who have much tend to have higher expectations placed on them. With high expectations comes difficulty reaching them and, as a result, failure. It’s a word that many struggle with. Yet, it’s something that everyone will encounter and is just a fact of being human. We will all make mistakes, but for many teenagers who are expected to excel in different areas of their lives, that doesn’t matter. When someone who does well in school suddenly doesn’t meet expectations, they don’t know how to handle it.
There are many students who try to achieve a level of perfectionism. They attempt to avoid any mistakes and reach a point where total flawlessness has been attained. Some people think that this is a good thing. While it’s great to do your best, don’t confuse effort with results. Those who try to be perfect in any way are only putting more stress on themselves. You and I will never be perfect. Yet, sometimes we set goals for ourselves that are unrealistic and then fall into disappointment when we don’t meet those expectations.
One of the first things we need to do when we’re falling into a perfectionist mindset is to set more reasonable goals for ourselves. As that relates to academics, if you typically get Cs in all your classes, don’t immediately aim to get As. Try to get to the B range. Then, once you get Bs, go for As. Work your way up instead of trying to drastically improve all at once.
It’s easy to see how setting more manageable goals for yourself can help, but we need to account for the other part of the problem as well. It’s important to know how to fail and how to handle messing up. Think of it this way, when someone loses a game and can’t accept that they lost, they’re a sore loser. They can't recognize that they lost and accept that they won’t win every time. Making mistakes is very similar. When we make mistakes, we should be okay with accepting that we made them. They push us to refine our skills and improve in different areas.
The truth about mistakes is that you will make them. There will be times when you mess up. But instead of treating a mistake like it’s the end of the world, treat it as an opportunity to learn, refine your skills, and grow stronger.
Challenges/Points:
We aren’t perfect.
Set attainable goals for yourself.
Be okay with failing every once in a while; it’s the best way to grow.
Questions:
Do you feel pressure to excel at something? Who or what causes that pressure?
Do you often feel like you can’t make mistakes?
Think of a time when you failed. Did you grow from that experience? If so, how?
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