Fool's Gold
“Look! There’s one! I found it!” Two pairs of hands grabbed for the dusty but glittering gold stone that sat sparkling in the gravel. I happened to be the fastest on this occasion and crouched with the treasure cupped safely in the palm of my hand. “How many do you have now?” My friend reached into her pocket and pulled forth a handful of similarly looking stones. Most of them were shiny, lumpy blobs but a few of them had the sharply defined edges that made them seem more special somehow, more like real gems.
A whistle blew loudly from the top of the hill near the playground, and a steady flow of children headed down toward us and past, back to the school. I groaned. Recess was over. Why did it always seem to be so short? Both of us tucked the fools gold back into our pockets and joined the students returning to class. We didn’t need to say anything to know that later that day, while we waited for our moms to pick us up, we’d compare our findings and see who had found the best pieces. Sometimes we’d try to trade and end up arguing over how unfair it was that one of us had so many good ones but that was okay. It was our game and we loved it.
Fools gold (also known as pyrite) is an iron sulfide with a metallic sheen that makes it appear like gold although it isn’t. Hence the name. I didn’t know it at the time, but there was a valuable lesson waiting to be learned while we scanned that gravel path during recess and it had nothing to do with minerals. Unfortunately, friends can come in the fool's gold variety too.
Sometimes we’re attracted to someone because we have certain things in common or maybe because we spend a lot of time at the same places together. The same school, same sports team, same youth group, same neighborhood, you get the picture. The point is, sometimes someone we thought was a true friend turns out down the road not to be. Maybe they drift away without saying anything about it and the distance slowly grows between you, or maybe you get into a fight and nothing is ever the same after that. I don’t know if anything hurts worse than realizing that someone you counted on isn’t going to be there for you after all.
This is why it’s important that we pay close attention to who our friends really are and what their choices and their character says about them. Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” We can get better at this as we get older but it’s valuable advice. There are some mind blowing humans I’m lucky enough to get to call my friends today but you know what? I had to walk away from a few fool’s gold friends first.
Challenges/Points:
Fools gold is a mineral that looks like gold but isn’t.
Sometimes we can befriend others who seem like good friends at the start but turn out not to be.
It’s okay to misread people, but we owe it to ourselves to be honest and invest in relationships that nourish and support both parties.
Questions:
Have you ever had a “fool’s gold friend”?
What do you think makes someone a true gold friend?
How many of your current friendships would you describe as being true gold vs. fool’s gold?
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