Removing Harmful Labels
No one has to remind me that I’m an introvert, I’m well aware that it has been hardwired into my personality. And while I embrace it as my own personal operating system at this point in my life, there was a time in my past when the labels of others were very discouraging to me.
Growing up in a classroom full of peers, it didn’t take long for me to quickly be defined by others as the “shy” one or as the girl who “didn’t like to talk.” I was quickly looked over and usually ignored as it was generally assumed I didn’t have anything of worth to offer. The biggest problem with this is that I also began to believe this myself, and it became the label I internalized. I started to think there was something wrong with the way I processed information and how I carefully selected which words to share instead of just blurting out whatever was first in my mind.
Inwardly, I cringed every time someone introduced me as the “shy” girl. I hated that label so much, but didn’t know how I could overcome it. I couldn’t think quickly enough for a good comeback or randomly pull up extroverted skills that I didn’t have, so I felt like I had to cave to the pressure of what many thought of me. I went along with the part I felt like everyone expected me to play, except for when I was with my close friends or family. Only those who knew me well saw me for what I felt was a much better representation of who I really was. With them I was goofy, friendly, talkative, and always trying to think deeply about life.
However, it wouldn’t be until adulthood when I would realize I didn’t have to wear the labels that others placed on me. The only labels that stick are the ones I choose to believe and nobody gets to tell me who I am or influence my actions. Of course, this doesn’t stop people from trying to tell me their perceptions of my personality, but I realize that their assumptions don’t matter in light of what I have learned and believe about myself. My confidence comes from that and not others’ opinions, and that is what truly makes all the difference.
What labels have you received in your life? Some maybe you enjoy, while others may be very hurtful. While in childhood, it may at times have felt very difficult to shake others perceptions of who you are. It is helpful to remember that no one gets to define you no matter your age. Take a moment and think about who you are when no one else is around, what fills you with joy, and what situations you shine in. We all have strengths and weaknesses that point to higher purposes in our life. If you have been hurt by a negative label in the past, make today your opportunity to remove it and replace it with a positive image of who you really are.
Challenges/Points:
Think about how others have labeled you either in the past or present. Remember, you get the final say in what you choose to believe and how you define yourself.
Be careful about labeling others in ways that they may find hurtful. It is better to take the time to get to know others instead of giving them generalized labels that push them away.
Those who know you best are also least likely to put labels on you and instead spend their time loving you in all of your uniqueness.
Questions:
Why do you think others place labels on us? Have you ever done that to others without thinking of how it may hurt them?
What labels in your life have you found hurtful and what truths about yourself can you replace those with today?
If you have been hurt by an unwanted label in the past, how could that spur you towards compassion for others in your current life?
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