The Rearview Mirror
Our pasts hold who we are - what has shaped and molded our character. No matter how old you may be, you have a past that affects who you are today. Talking about the past may bring up some raw emotions for you. Perhaps resentment, bitterness, pain, joy, nostalgia, longing. They may be emotions that you shy away from. Yet the past is so important. Important enough to look back on, but not live by.
I once had someone compare the past to a car’s rearview mirror. They said, “You can’t drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror the entire time. The rearview mirror is important. You need to check what’s behind you, but you can only drive safely forward by looking through the windshield.”
You can’t drive forward by looking back.
Simple as that. Yet, many of us drive forward with our lives by constantly looking to the past. Others of us stare pointedly through the windshield, never daring to check that rearview mirror. It’s to those people that I speak today.
The past is important. Through all its joys and hardships, we need to revisit it once in a while. We need to check that rearview mirror in order to drive safely forward. Why? Because there is so much to learn from the past. In my life, the relationships around me are bettered by my reflecting on the past. I can look back on arguments I’ve had and remind myself how to best approach a topic. I can look at situations I’ve not handled well and learn from my mistakes.
On the flip side, it’s important to remember where we’ve come from, how far we’ve come, in order to continue forward. I’m a full-time author. I write young adult fiction novels for a living. A few weeks ago, I was frustrated with my writing career. I was upset that I didn’t have more followers, more book sales, more engagement from readers. I was mad that I wasn’t further along in my career, asking myself what it is I’m missing. What haven’t I “got” that others have.
Then I took a moment to reflect. To look back. I only published my first book two years ago. I only published my whole trilogy at the beginning of this year. I was working a full-time office job up until this year. My writing career is young. I haven’t tried writing in a new genre yet. I haven’t written anything outside my first series yet. I have come so far in the last year alone - there’s no reason to beat myself up when I’ve accomplished so much already.
This is true for you, too. Reflect back on your past. I’m sure there are things you wanted that you now have. Goals that you’ve accomplished. Relationships that have grown. Taking that moment to reflect helps you remember how to best move forward. So take that moment. Breathe. Smile. Remember. Learn.
Challenges/Points:
Our pasts may be messy and complicated, but that doesn’t mean the road ahead needs to be.
If you look back to your past, it can help you move forward.
Look at one of the most difficult moments in your past. What lessons did you learn that helped make your future better today?
Questions:
What goals did you use to have? What do those look like compared to today’s goals?
Have you been driving by watching the rearview mirror, the windshield, or both?
What were the things you wanted that you now have?
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