I mentioned that I didn’t want to go to public school, but I now think my parents were wise in enrolling me in one. I had been pretty sheltered prior to public school. I had been raised and living in this little bubble that popped pretty quickly. I became more empathic of what others were going through. I learned about the importance of diversity. I also did a program that really pushed me to work hard and prepared me for college. 

“It is not the critic who counts,” he said, “not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs… if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you found it was hard to think about almost anything else? If you have, you might have been experiencing what’s called “scarcity mindset”. Scarcity mindset is a sort of tunnel vision that occurs when you want or need something so badly that all other things fade to the background (Vedantam, 2017).

While most of us are engaging in more and more screen time every day, less and less of us are walking regularly. It’s becoming easy to forget what we could do away from Netflix and videogames, Tik Tok and Instagram. So much time spent with technology also means that we get disconnected from our own bodies. Walking brings us back to earth and connects us with ourselves at the same time. It roots us. 

It was stunningly beautiful. A milky pale green color studded with gold drops and a single black line, this temporary resting place was like a living gem. For 8-15 days (depending on temperature), the caterpillar would wait, completely still inside, and in that waiting, it would be utterly transformed.   

Think back to right before your last vacation. What were you feeling as you prepared to hit the road or head to the airport? Excitement? Adventure? Maybe even a little restless? You may not know how to describe it, but you probably know that feeling - the anticipation of knowing you’re going to see someplace new and have fun experiences. Shortly after, you go on the trip and have a blast. But after a few days or weeks, it must come to an end. That’s when another feeling hits. 

About 4 months later, we ran a half marathon. She had easily convinced me to join her in training. We’d found a training plan that didn’t look that bad, I had already been exercising so how hard could it be to add in running, and it gave us an excuse to spend more time together. I didn’t expect to fall in love with it, though. Who would want to run so much and so far? 

When we’re continually letting ourselves get worked up about someone or something, it’s impacting our physical health. Our blood pressure is high, and the chemicals released with being angry can have lasting effects. There is an increased risk of heart disease, irritable bowel syndrome, fatigue, and some autoimmune disorders (Before forgiving - the effect of anger and resentment on the body, 2014). 

I didn’t know I had a conflict style until after I got married. I came from a family where there was lots of yelling and tense undertones whenever there was an issue that needed to be tackled. It made me extremely uncomfortable as a child in this environment, as I was also highly sensitive and not well practiced in different techniques of how to handle overwhelming emotion

There are a LOT of ways that we can practice emotional numbing. Some of us might use alcohol or drugs, others might turn to a never ending to-do list to avoid feeling. Even if we don’t use any of those approaches, we can still move through our days with a “just don’t think about it” approach that puts certain feelings away in a box instead of learning how to deal with them (Michael, 2020).

Question of the day: what if we never stopped growing? Physically, I mean. What if, for our entire lives, we were on a continual growth track that pointed in one direction: up. Well for one thing I’d imagine that there’d probably need to be elevators everywhere. Stores, restaurants, and schools would need to accommodate the shorter populace and the tallest. Maybe we’d utilize outdoor spaces more. I don’t have a clue how transportation or cars would work!

There are times when my heart begins beating fast, my mind starts racing, and I break out in a nervous sweat. It may seem that the cause of these symptoms would be from doing something challenging, such as taking a test or perhaps giving an important presentation. However, more often than not, these effects take place in my body shortly after scrolling through news articles online. 

This quickly changed again when I got to college, was pretty broke, and took an ethics class that changed my mind on some of my favorite stores because of how they got their clothing. I started hitting up Goodwill, etc. again. At this point in life, I can find just about anything I need through thrifting; although, I do visit places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls frequently as well - new clothes at discounted prices! 

Skin hunger? I promise, this has nothing to do with cannibals! When we discuss health and wellness, it’s safe to say that touch probably isn’t the first thing to come to mind. We might think of getting enough exercise, eating healthy, or working to create positive self talk about ourselves but hugs?

Well it turns out that hugs matter. A lot.

The sad part is that I couldn’t even see the lie I was being fed. After all, I was pretty close to being china! (which begs the question, could ceramic even become china or were these identities immutable?) We were taught to compare ourselves to objects. Objects made to be used by another person and then put away until they needed to be used again.

How high? Well, according to one recent study, a lack of social connection carries health risks similar to what you see when you smoke 15 cigarettes a day. The same study found that isolation is likely twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity (Cost, 2021).

How much must I give them? How much could I? But the moments from those years wove themselves into an unexpected gift. Scenes where we perched on kitchen counters to talk late into the night, left encouraging notes out and meals kept warm for when one of us got home. The air in our little bathroom was full of humming and hairspray. My daughter spent her first years swimming in the love of her live-in aunts and slowly, very slowly, the size of the cost diminished when compared to the reward. We’d been given the unshakeable bedrock of each other.

Did you know that even simple goals often change us in ways we don’t see coming? It’s true! Hitting your goal regularly of drinking more water will keep you hydrated, yes, but it might also have effects you didn’t expect like clearing up your skin or making it hard to sit through history class without using the restroom! The moral is that we can’t always see all the ways a goal will change us.

Even though practicing silence can feel frightening and unnerving at first, push past that feeling. Stay with it! There is a place on the other side of that fear where the waters of peace run deep. For you, maybe it’s in the morning shower before you’ve been sucked into the rhythm of the day. Or maybe it’s somewhere out in nature where you can sit alone and just feel the sun or the wind. Wherever it is, make a point to seek out silence sometime this week and befriend it.

An activity that forces you to think about something else besides whatever is worrying you is helpful. Distraction (to an extent) is a positive way to cope with something. I’m not talking about avoiding your problems and never working things out. When you’re not taking care of problems, you’re just prolonging anxiety and issues. Distraction is NOT healthy in this way. However, sometimes, we just need to clear our heads. For example, last year I was applying to graduate school, involved in several clubs and extracurriculars, working, and a full time student. I needed ways to just relax and let the anxiety out during that time. Driving is one way to do this. It gives me the opportunity to focus on something else. When your brain is in hyperdrive, it needs a break! Distraction can help.