ust because you may not think you’re “right-brained” doesn’t mean you don’t use creativity every day or wouldn’t benefit from it. Whenever you’re creating something, you tend to get “lost” in the activity - it requires more thought and concentration than it seems. This total absorption is sometimes considered to be “flow.” Being in this state of mind is caused by changes in brain function - brain waves slow down and original thoughts are easier to form. The prefrontal cortex actually deactivates for a time, which helps us be more courageous and less critical of our ideas. Endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine are all released in abundance - who wouldn’t want that? This is similar to how your brain would act during yoga, mindfulness, and meditation, such a natural feeling of contentment (Brenner, 2019). 

Inwardly, I cringed every time someone introduced me as the “shy” girl. I hated that label so much, but didn’t know how I could overcome it. I couldn’t think quickly enough for a good comeback or randomly pull up extroverted skills that I didn’t have, so I felt like I had to cave to the pressure of what many thought of me. I went along with the part I felt like everyone expected me to play, except for when I was with my close friends or family. Only those who knew me well saw me for what I felt was a much better representation of who I really was. With them I was goofy, friendly, talkative, and always trying to think deeply about life.

“There are only so many seats on the train with you Lauren,” my friend says to me as I sip my drink across from him. “And either we’re intentional about who we give those seats to or… we’re not.” He takes a few swallows of his own beverage while I contemplate what’s just been said. He’s right. I know that. I can feel it in my bones. What he’s referring to is meaningful, close relationships. That inner circle of friends and/or family who are your tribe, your safe place, your people.

Or at least, they should be. But the fact is that when he tells me this, I know that there are definitely people on MY train who are less interested in what’s best for me and more interested in being where they want to be. It takes time, but eventually, I also realize that there are people standing on this metaphorical train station platform who I want to have on the train with me. I want them to know about what matters, to see them more regularly, to have them in my corner if they’re willing. But there isn’t any more space on the train… unless I make some. So I quietly pull back from a few relationships. I have a couple hard conversations where I’m up front about the shift. Not everybody is happy about it. But you know what’s even crazier? In the midst of making these changes, I realized something. 

One difficult to identify form of verbal abuse is when someone makes public jokes about you at your expense. The feelings you could experience as a result of this are shame, humiliation, anger, and confusion. Humor is an effective mask should anyone choose to confront the inconsiderate behavior. They can always respond with, “I’m just kidding. Don’t take it so seriously.” Don’t let such a response fool you. Anyone who responds like this simply doesn’t want to be held accountable for the hurt that their words caused. A person who truly cares about you and knows how to love in a healthy way will always listen when you need to talk about something they said or did that hurt you. They’ll believe you. They don’t want to hurt you. A person engaged in verbal abuse on the other hand will often attempt to convince you that you’re wrong and that what they said wasn’t actually that bad (Gordon, 2022).

Because verbal abuse doesn’t leave any visible wounds or bruises, it can be easy to overlook or convince ourselves that it isn’t so bad. But it is. Some of the long term effects of verbal abuse include chronic stress, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, PTSD, social isolation, and substance use (Gordon, 2022). If you think you might be experiencing verbal abuse from someone in your life, please reach out and talk about it. No one deserves to be verbally abused. Ever.

Think of this as a challenge, one with few repercussions if not completed but possibly some unrealized benefits if accepted and acted upon. The next time you pull out your “to-do” list and start making plans, goals, or dreams for the day or even the year, leave some room for fun. Give yourself at least 20-30 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy but often think of as a “waste of time.” Read that book, go for a drive, call that friend, sing your favorite song, paint a picture, let yourself dream again, and find out what you didn’t know you were missing.

Spontaneity of any kind can be really difficult for some of us. Rigid schedules can make us feel like there’s no room for anything else in our lives. One more person asking us to do something, even if it’s a fun activity, may leave us feeling overwhelmed. First I asked you to block off a time every week to rest, and now I’m asking you to say “yes” to unexpected moments to take a break?? Yes. Do it and see if you actually regret it. I’m not saying to say “yes” to everything that comes up or spend all your nights being spontaneous. Just every once in a while, give yourself the space to do something that’s not on your schedule (but still something that you want to do). 

When it comes to hobbies, not all of us can throw a mean curve ball, set records sprinting down the final stretch of the track, or sink a basket for our teammates. Thankfully, sports aren’t the only game in town, and there is one incredible option available to most that celebrates an entirely different set of skills. I’m talking about drama. Theater. The stage. Musicals and plays. Linked to these events are communities that tend to celebrate the things that make us different. Besides, it takes just as much courage to perform in front of all your classmates and family as it does to play a football game or cheer.

A psychiatric study found that people who prefer an active daytime routine over a nighttime routine have better sleeping cycles. These healthier sleep cycles are associated with improved mental health and decreased likelihood to develop emotional difficulties. Furthermore, routines can lower stress levels and promote healthy daily habits. They can also boost productivity and focus. Not-surprisingly, routines are often recommended for individuals who have ADHD, insomnia, bipolar disorder, addiction, and depression. When you know what to expect and have some mental organization, it’s much easier to work through any symptoms of mental health conditions. Creativity can also thrive on structure! Creating a process for the everyday-things of life can release space for other, more important things (Plata, 2018; Cherry, 2020; Robins, n.d.). 

The past is the past! But how much we let the past affect us is the question! Every incident in our lives leaves a mark on us—emotionally, physically, mentally. How deep the mark depends on the problem. Job loss. Family loss. Financial loss. Loss of health. Notice that I said “loss” in each of these cases.  Whatever the cause, the result can be the same—grief or even depression. Grief is sadness; however, depression is much heavier.

Have you ever wondered why it is sometimes difficult to feel closely connected to certain people? While there could be a variety of factors that impact this, one characteristic that comes to mind is their willingness to be open or to share details of their life with you, as well as you doing the same. 

For example, maybe you have a co-worker, friend, or even a relative that comes to mind. When you ask how they are doing, their response is always “fine.” Perhaps even their social media account is filled with the highlights of their life, and from the outside, everything really does look fine so you believe them and move on with your day. However, as most of us know, the pictures never tell the full story, and so much more might be hiding below the surface.

We all have that one spot that seems to be the collection point for clutter. It seems to be a universal rule: clutter begets clutter. Once one thing is set down, other items seem to land there and accumulate. 

If you're feeling the anxiety start to creep up because of some cluttered area that is taking over your space, giving yourself 10 minutes to tackle some of the clutter can be a physical way you can address your anxiety. You don’t have to do a massive overhaul of your space to feel the releasing effects of decluttering. The following are a few small spaces that you can address that can be done quickly or in small increments, but feel like they leave a big impact.

Ready to set one food goal? Do a quick internet search, and you’ll find endless suggestions about nutrition—what to eat, what to never EVER eat (OMG!), and what the expert of the day advises. I’ve read boatloads of theories, tried lots of diets, suffered some disasters and had some big successes. In the end, I think it boils down to one thing: Eat nourishing food. 

Where do you usually get your best creative ideas? I’m not talking about a source like Pinterest, or social media scrolling, but instead, the moments when your brain has been rolling around ideas all week, and suddenly the lightning bolt strikes and your “aha” realization is crystal clear. 

With life in the midwest, the winter time can bring out the blahs, and sometimes to fight it, I will start planning our family’s spring and summer getaways to new locations. However, I often overlook the amazing gems of entertainment, scenic views, and privately owned restaurants that are only a short drive away. Sometimes our own city or state begins to feel so ordinary to us that we forget to seek out the treasures that are right around us. When that happens, it is time to think like a tourist while still keeping it local. 

I write about my high school experience light-heartedly, but drugs are something to take seriously. They can impact every aspect of our mental and physical state. I’ll talk about that, but first, let’s talk about categories of drugs. There are 3 categories based on their effect: stimulants, depressants, and hallucinogens (Types of drugs, 2021). 

Did you catch “The Iron Giant”? Me neither! This 1999 film was released without any marketing budget at all, but it’s become an animated classic that’s recognized by thousands for its quality animation, compelling storyline, and moving theme. So what makes it great? The core idea: What if a gun didn’t want to be a gun? I won’t give you any spoilers, but the story follows a giant robot who has crash landed on earth and seems equipped to cause lots of destruction. But he’s discovered and hidden by a young boy who teaches him about souls and comics, and that in life, we get to choose who we want to be.

I enjoy Disney’s movie, Encanto, for a number of reasons, but mostly because of how relatable the main characters are and how much we can learn from them. Spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and want to, you may want to watch it first before reading the rest of this.

Let’s start with Mirabel, the perky, sweet, teenager we are introduced to in the beginning of the movie. Apparently, she is the only one in her family not to have received a magical gift and so she is dealing with feeling average or left out but is trying to be positive about it. I wonder how many times this story has played out in our own lives? I know for me, while there are things that I am good at, I don’t have a special gift that sets me apart. Feelings of inadequacy have followed me all throughout my life. The question of “What do I have to offer?”, is one that most people struggle with at some time in their lives. 

Therapists generally agree that to hold space for someone means to be completely present for someone, putting your focus on them to support them while they feel their emotions. There is no emphasis on problem solving or “fixing” in holding space. It is more about “being with” than anything else. If you’ve ever experienced good therapy, then you’ll know the value that can be found in having a safe space where you feel comfortable communicating whatever it is that you need, think, or feel. That space is created and “held” by someone, usually the therapist. But this is also an important skill for friends, parents, caretakers, medical professionals, and many others to learn.

There are so many benefits to cleanliness and organization. You may not have control over everything going on in your life, but this is one thing you can control. This space is YOURS. Also, like I briefly mentioned earlier, physical clutter can add to mental clutter and make it harder to focus. Each messy item is just reminding you of all the other things you have to do. Peace comes with putting everything in its place. Lastly, a clean space can also promote healthier choices. In one study, when participants were placed in either a messy or clean room - the ones in the clean room chose healthier snacks and were more generous (Madormo, 2021). 

When you better understand your own body’s response to different weather situations, you can find a good rhythm for balancing rest and activity and making the most of what each day brings. Whether that is a brisk walk in the fall while you enjoy the changing colors of the leaves, or a rainy day in spring where you take the time to rest and be thankful for new growth, in each and every season, there are unique ways to rest. Going along with these natural changes can bring out the best in you while also increasing your appreciation for what each new day brings.